The Alfa Romeo Giulia: Is it Beautiful or Just Plain Bewildering?

Preface: An Unexpected Italian Stallion

Let’s set the scene, shall we? I landed in Genoa, ready for a classic Italian adventure, and there, at the rental desk, was… this. Not the usual beige box of rental mediocrity, no. Instead, they handed me the keys to an Alfa Romeo Giulia. A grey one, mind you, the colour of a particularly gloomy pigeon, but still, an Alfa. Now, the plan was a leisurely drive from Genoa down to Pisa and back. What I didn’t initially appreciate was that we were a family of four, and that the car itself would become a major part of the experience, and not always in a good way. So, buckle up, because this isn’t just a car review; it’s a tale of my encounter with Italian automotive… eccentricity, and a considerable luggage juggling act.

Chapter 1: The Initial Encounter

Right, let’s be honest, shall we? We’ve all been there. You’re perusing the car lot, trying to find something that doesn’t make you look like you’ve given up on life, and there it sits. A gleaming, sculpted…thing. This, my friends, is the Alfa Romeo Giulia.

Now, in the picture, this one’s got that “grey as a wet Monday morning” paint job. I suppose it’s aiming for sophisticated, or maybe just hoping to blend in with the tarmac. I’m not entirely sure which. But let’s not get hung up on the colour; we need to talk about the car itself.

Chapter 2: The Visuals – A Feast for the Eyes (Mostly)

First, the good bits. The lines on this thing are, I admit, rather striking. It’s got this swooping, slightly predatory silhouette. It’s like a greyhound that’s just had a particularly good pasta dinner, sleek and full of potential. The alloys… well, let’s be honest, they look like someone’s tried to make an origami snowflake out of metal. But they’re interesting, at least. And that’s saying something in a world full of cookie-cutter designs.

Chapter 3: The Alfa Romeo Enigma

But then there’s the Alfa Romeo. Oh, Alfa Romeo. You beautiful, baffling Italian. Because along with the beauty, comes the… well, the experience.

Let’s get to the point. If this was a dish, it would be a particularly complex and experimental risotto. Yes, there might be moments of absolute brilliance, a burst of flavour that makes you think “this is the best thing I’ve ever tasted!” But, right around the corner could lurk a completely unexpected, potentially disastrous, ingredient. Is that salt? Or just slightly off milk? Who knows! That’s Alfa in a nutshell. This whole drive from Genoa to Pisa was like that risotto – sometimes amazing, sometimes… worrying.

You see, owning an Alfa Romeo is like having a passionate, slightly deranged Italian lover. One day it’ll be singing you sonnets in the rain, and the next it’ll be having an absolute meltdown over a misplaced spanner. You know there’s potential for greatness, you admire its flair, but there’s always that little nagging voice in the back of your head that asks, “Will it actually start tomorrow?” Thankfully, this one did, mostly.

Chapter 4: The Driving – A Bullet on Twisted Roads

Now, let’s talk about the part where it actually moves. And when this Giulia gets going, it goes. It’s fast, like a bullet fired from a rather stylish, Italian gun. On the highways, it’s incredibly stable, eating up the miles with a reassuring confidence that borders on arrogance. And then you hit the twisty bits, the roads that wind their way through the Italian hills, and the Giulia truly comes alive. It’s ridiculously fun, cornering with an agility that defies its size. It hugs the road like a lovesick octopus, and the experience is pure automotive joy. It’s enough to make you forget all the other little… quirks… for a while.

Chapter 5: The Practicality Problem – Family Luggage Tetris

And then there’s the question of practicality. Just LOOK at it! There’s very little visible space in that boot – I doubt it could comfortably fit a single suitcase for a weekend trip, let alone the luggage for a family of four. My meticulously packed luggage for this Genoa to Pisa round-trip was certainly a challenge to cram in. We ended up playing a rather intense game of luggage Tetris, with bags squeezed into every available nook and cranny, including, yes, some on the back seats. If you’re planning a trip to the shops, you better hope you’re only buying the essentials, and by “essentials,” I mean a loaf of bread. Maybe. And perhaps a particularly small bottle of Chianti, which, miraculously, we managed to fit.

Chapter 6: The Ergonomics – An Acrobat’s Entrance

Getting in and out of this thing, I swear, requires a certain level of gymnastic ability. It’s not a car you gracefully slide into; it’s more like you lower yourself down, ideally with all four hands touching the ground for stability. But once you’re actually inside, it’s surprisingly comfortable. It’s like they focused all their attention on making the driving seat a wonderfully sculpted cocoon, and then just hoped no one would actually need to get in or out more than once a week.

Chapter 7: The Final Verdict

So, is the Giulia a good car? Well, that depends on your definition of “good.” If “good” means reliable, predictable, and boringly dependable, then no, absolutely not. But if “good” means visually arresting, engaging to drive (when it’s working), filled with more character than an entire village of Morris dancers, and capable of making you grin like a loon on twisty roads (not that much as a Ford Focus RS), then, maybe, just maybe, the Giulia is for you. This journey from Genoa to Pisa, with a family of four and a boot full of strategically placed luggage, certainly tested that theory.

As for me? I’m still trying to decide if I’m completely seduced or utterly bewildered. But that’s half the fun, isn’t it? Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I hear my sanity calling. I have a feeling it’s about to go for a little Italian vacation.

The Overall Verdict: An Alfa Romeo. Need I say more? It’s the ultimate petrolhead car, a rolling embodiment of passion and automotive lunacy. So, no matter what its quirks and its questionable practicality, driving it is a dream come true. And after a drive from Genoa to Pisa and back, with a family in tow, I’m still very much on the fence about which side I fall on, but undeniably glad I had the experience.

Alfa Romeo Giulia 2.0 T
Fuel: bezin
Power:  280 HP
Model: 2017