My Hyundai Santa Fe Misadventure in a Dashing 2019-ish Edition!

Right, listen up! Meanwhile traveling to Dubai (I managed to get out before the biblical rain) I recently had the distinct displeasure of, ahem, getting acquainted with the 2019 Hyundai Santa Fe. Now, I’m a man of simple tastes, really. But this? This was like hopping into a time capsule set for the bargain bin of the year 2000 or so, as the Mitsubishi Pajero from 2006, that I owned long time ago, felt much better.

Chapter 1: A Symphony in Beige, Brown, Black and Chrome

Let’s start with the aesthetics. Outside, ok-eish, nothing fancy, nothing bad, a bit dull, easy to be unnoticed but then inside. Imagine the most uninspired shade of beige, brown, black and chrome you can conjure. Now, smother the entire interior in it, totally random. Thrilling, isn’t it? Absolutely nothing about this car screams “modern marvel of design.” It’s about as exciting as watching superglue dry, only slightly less aerodynamic.

Chapter 2: The Button Blender

Then came the controls. Whoever designed the layout must have been a champion button masher in their childhood. Everything was illogical, cryptic symbols adorning a labyrinth of plasticky knobs. It was like deciphering hieroglyphics while blindfolded! Though, I will admit, the quality of the plastics themselves was surprisingly decent. Like a five-star restaurant serving lukewarm mystery meat – the presentation might be fancy, but the substance leaves much to be desired. In the end, I just gave up trying. Used the old fashion, 2000-ish driving stile: Use steering wheel, pedals and listen to the road noise, and that was plenty of it.

Chapter 3: The Seats From the Torture Chamber

The pièce de résistance, however, were the seats. Now, I’ve had some questionable seating arrangements in my time (looking at you, airline economy/coach class), but these were a whole new level of awfulness. Imagine a medieval torture device designed to slowly compress your spine into oblivion. Lumbar support? Never heard of it! Side support? About as useful as a chocolate teapot on a submarine. Needless to say, my backside staged a full-blown mutiny after driving the piece of metal for a day, forcing me to ditch the Santa Fe faster than a politician a tax audit. Went to the car rental company, and with their very good and prompt reaction I managed to swap it in a blink of an eye with, an as equally dull but very alive Toyota. That story for another time.

Chapter 4: The Horsepower Hoedown

Under the hood, things got a bit livelier. The 235 horsepower engine packed a punch, when it finally decided to show up for the party. It felt like a herd of wild stallions – except half of them were sleeping soundly in the back. One moment, you’d be pressing the pedal and getting absolutely nothing. Then, out of nowhere, it would surge forward like a startled cat, leaving you with whiplash and a bewildered expression. Now, this could be down to the turbocharger having an existential crisis, or perhaps the gearbox having forgotten what gear changes are for. Either way, it was an unpredictable mess.

Chapter 5: The Unexpected Twist

But here’s the thing – despite all its shortcomings, the handling was actually pretty darn good! Once you managed to wrestle the beast into motion, it handled surprisingly well for its size. Body roll was minimal, and it zipped around corners with a nimbleness I wasn’t expecting. It was like a grumpy old bulldog – slow and cumbersome at first glance, but surprisingly sprightly when it gets going.

The Final Lap

So, the verdict on the 2019 Hyundai Santa Fe? A confusing mishmash of decent elements wrapped in a forgettable package. It’s the automotive equivalent of that beige cardigan your aunt keeps trying to foist on you – utterly harmless, but about as exciting as watching grass grow. If you’re looking for a soul-stirring driving experience, look elsewhere. But if you need a beige time machine that occasionally pretends to be a sports car, well, then this might just be your chariot. Just don’t blame me when your backside declares war.

About the car:

Hyunday Santa Fe – 2.0T AWD
Fuel: bezine / gas
Power: 235 HP
Model: 2019