Me, a Giggling Daughter, and the Insanity That is the Ford Focus RS!

The Perils of Paternal Patience

Let me tell you something dear reader, there are moments in your life that redefine the word “unprepared.” Like that time you accidentally wore your wife’s blouse to work (floral patterns and all), or perhaps the moment you discover your teenage daughter has mastered the art of sarcasm. But for me, the pinnacle of unpreparedness arrived at a Ford dealership, on a quest to instill the value of stability in a car. Yes, you read that right. Stability.

Launch Control: A Tongue-Eating Experience

The salesman, a man whose smile could sell ice to Eskimos, ushered us towards a sleek, blue monster – a 2020 Ford Focus RS. His recommendation: “Go driving it first, only then we will talk”. Now, I’m not unfamiliar with a bit of power, but this thing? This was a whole new level of mental instability. The salesman, with the enthusiasm of a puppy on sugar, launched into a spiel about “launch control.” Let me tell you, launch control is not for the faint of heart. It’s like being strapped to a rocket and force-fed G-forces. My internal organs rearranged themselves in a way that would make a contortionist blush, and for a brief, terrifying moment, I think I tasted my own tongue.

Braking: When Your Face Becomes a Deflating Balloon

If launch control was a symphony of neck-snapping acceleration, then the braking was its brutal metal counterpart. The moment I slammed on those brakes, I swear my face tried to escape my skull. It was like hitting a brick wall… at warp speed. My daughter, found this entire ordeal hilarious. The high-pitched squeals of laughter echoing throughout the car were the only things keeping me from whimpering like a scolded puppy.

The All-Wheel-Drive Savior: Roundabouts of Fury

Now, here’s where things got interesting. Despite the savagery of launch control and the face-pulverizing brakes, the magic of all-wheel drive emerged. This little blue beast clung to corners like a lovesick koala. Roundabouts, those normally pedestrian traffic circles, became opportunities for controlled mayhem. The car remained poised, predictable, even as I took them at speeds that would make a traffic cop faint. My daughter, still giggling uncontrollably, declared me officially insane. Then I found the “Drift Mode” settings. I just got upgraded instantly from insane to crazy. I couldn’t care less.

Fuel Efficiency? What Fuel Efficiency?

There’s a reason they call these things “performance vehicles,” folks. Because let me tell you, performance comes at a price. This car drinks fuel like a frat boy at a keg party. By the end of the test drive, the gas gauge was staring back at me with a look of utter contempt.

The Verdict: A Grin-Inducing Reminder That Stability is Relative

So, did the Ford Focus RS change my mind about stability? Well, yes and no. It’s certainly not the kind of stable you’d take your grandma on a grocery run. But it’s the kind of stable that injects pure, unadulterated fun into every drive. It’s a car that will leave you grinning like a maniac, even if your face hurts from the G-forces and your wallet weeps from the gas station bill. As for my daughter? Well, let’s just say her newfound appreciation for stability might be slightly skewed towards the launch-control-and-insane-cornering variety. Anyway, the Focus RS is no more, they stoped producing it a while back. If you get a chance, any chance to step in one, do it, and if you get the chance to even drive the thing, you will be spoiled for life!

About the car:

Ford Focus RS EcoBoost
Fuel: benzin
Power: 345 HP
Model: 2016