Others EU Nanny State on Wheels: My Car Thinks I’m an Idiot Ninjutzu, 08/08/202508/08/2025 Right, let’s get one thing straight. I am all for safety. Seatbelts? Fantastic invention. Airbags? Superb. Crumple zones? A work of engineering genius. But what I am not for, what I will never be for, is being treated like a dribbling simpleton every time I climb aboard my own motor…
Review The Toyota Corolla Cross: The Car That Shouts at You for Being Good Ninjutzu, 04/07/202504/07/2025 Right, let’s get one thing straight. The Toyota Corolla is, and I hate to admit this, a global phenomenon. It’s the car that your geography teacher drove, the car you see delivering pizzas, the car that will likely be scuttling around, cockroach-like, long after the apocalypse. It has sold more…
Review The Suzuki S-Cross 2024: A Surprisingly Accurate Trip Back to the Year 2000 Ninjutzu, 25/03/202525/03/2025 When you think you reached bottom with the Qashqai, then be prepared and, buckle up, as there might be a new low in town. Here’s a tale from the not-so-distant past, experienced in the very present, aboard a machine that seems utterly bewildered by the concept of the 21st century….
Review The Volkswagen T-Roc Cabriolet: A Tenerife Tale of Triumph and Tiny Engines Ninjutzu, 02/03/202511/03/2025 Right, listen up, you automotive adventurers, you sun-seekers (regardless of where that sun might be hiding behind perpetually grey skies), and you curious cats who’ve stumbled across this review wondering what fresh hell Volkswagen has unleashed upon the world. Today, we’re confronting a vehicle so… unique, so eyebrow-raising, it’s like finding…
Review The (Grey) Highlander: So Boring It’s Almost Impressive! Ninjutzu, 27/12/202417/12/2024 Okay, buckle up, car enthusiasts, because we’re diving into the land of… well, let’s just say it’s not the most exciting place on the map. Today, we’re talking about the Toyota Highlander XLE AWD, a vehicle that’s about as thrilling as watching paint dry. But hey, someone’s gotta drive it,…
Review The Kia Sportage: Car or an odd Grey Blob? Ninjutzu, 20/12/202420/12/2024 Chapter 1: The Scene of the Crime, and yet another California Rental Adventure Right, let’s get this out of the way. This… thing… was my trusty steed for a recent trip. I’ve spent a solid ten minutes now staring at this picture from back then, and I’m still not sure how…
Review The Alfa Romeo Giulia: Is it Beautiful or Just Plain Bewildering? Ninjutzu, 15/12/202415/12/2024 Preface: An Unexpected Italian Stallion Let’s set the scene, shall we? I landed in Genoa, ready for a classic Italian adventure, and there, at the rental desk, was… this. Not the usual beige box of rental mediocrity, no. Instead, they handed me the keys to an Alfa Romeo Giulia. A…
Uncategorized The Yank Tank That Conquered Canada (and my Wallet) Ninjutzu, 07/12/202407/12/2024 Alright, you petrol-sniffing heathens, gather ’round and listen to the tale of another behemoth that lumbered its way into my life for a fortnight of trans-Canadian adventures: the 2023 Jeep Wagoneer. Now, before you start reaching for your pitchforks and torches, muttering about American excess and gas-guzzling monstrosities, hear me…
Review Conquering Chicago in a Behemoth: My Ford Expedition 2023 Adventure Ninjutzu, 03/10/202403/10/2024 Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Gas Pump Chicago. The Windy City. Home of deep-dish pizza, questionable baseball teams, and, apparently, roads wide enough to land a small plane on. It was the perfect place to test out the 2023 Ford Expedition, a vehicle so vast…
Uncategorized Confessions of a Cynical Finn and the MG HS That Wasn’t Actually Rubbish Ninjutzu, 18/07/202418/07/2024 Alright, listen up. You might know me as your resident curmudgeon, the Finn who thinks everything (except saunas and Kimi Raikkonen) is a bit overrated. So, when clueless Avis at Heathrow shoved the keys to an MG HS 1.5 T-GDI DCT my way, I about spat my tea out. MG?…